I can't believe that it's been 27 months since my dossier was logged in at the CCAA. Sometimes it seems like just last month that I got the call about my LID and other times it seems that it has been an eternity. Right now it feels like an eternity - with no end in sight.This year marked the 3rd Halloween, the 3rd Thanksgiving and now the 3rd Christmas without the one thing that I want most in this world. This is my favorite time of year and I can't even get motivated to put out any decorations or to put up the Christmas lights. Knowing that next Christmas will be the same just makes me really, really sad.
I'm going to cry now.
5 comments:
I wish I could take the pain away for you. You are in my prayers...
I wish I could take away your pain about this. The holidays are particularly tough, aren't they?
I understand...and I am so sorry.
So sorry! A good cry hopefully will help the world look brighter! During our wait we concentrated on helping other children. I actually was added/voted on a Children's Home Board so kept/keep active with children's needs. You will be so happy giving to others. I know it isn't the same, but it did help us. Focus, focus, focus on the big picture.
Sending love and hugs.
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Alyson
Alyzabeth's Mommy
I understand. Go ahead and cry. It's okay.
Last year I couldn't celebrate. Didn't decorate or put up a tree. It was so hard. Cuz I hit my 18 mth mark in the wait. That was when my agency said I'd have my referral by. So when I hit that LID-versary something triggered subconsciously that sent me into a horrible depression. Especially coming to terms with the realization that I'd have at least one more holiday or two AFTER 2007's.
But once I dealt with all that and accepted it, I was able to move forward. I'm celebrating this year.
You will too, again. But it might take until next year. Hang in there.
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