Sunday, January 17, 2010

They just don't get it...

I've been waiting over three years for my someone in China to match me with my daughter. I know that people mean well, but they just don't get it. Some recent conversations...

Friend: What is going on with your adoption? It seems like it is taking forever.
Me: It is taking forever but I have no control over it. I've been waiting for over 40 months.
Friend: That's ridiculous. You should just get pregnant. (That's a great idea, I wish I had thought of that)

Friend: Are you STILL waiting for that baby?
Me: Yes, I am.
Friend: Well, I wish they would hurry up. I'm getting tired of waiting!! (Really???? YOU are tired of waiting!!!)

Friend: I know a lawyer, do you want me to have him call China and see if
they can speed things up for you? (Can you imagine - Hello China? What's taking so long?)

Friend: Any news yet?
Me: Unfortunately, no. I'm still waiting.
Friend: Well there are plenty of babies for sale now in Haiti, maybe you should try there (This was from someone at church and it left me speechless?)

Stupid remarks like this make me glad that not everyone knows I am adopting.


Polar Bear said...

I've heard some similar comments. I just wonder if people are really that stupid, or they are trying to be helpful and just don't know what to say.

I'm sorry to say, I think they are just stupid. Especially whoever made the comment to you about the babies in Haiti.

Briana's Mom said...

Wow - the ignorance is astounding...

I would have probably ripped the person that made the Haiti statement to shreds (with words of course). :)

Lisa and Tate said...

I have these same conversations logged into my memory of the wait! One friend, who knows I am pretty easy going, said "I should call up my agency and DEMAND they get working on my adoption. You know be pro active!"

I guess all you can do is just laugh?!

Have I told you how much I love the name Maggie??? If I adopt another kiddo, Maggie will be her name! Hope you don't mind.


Lisa and Tate said...

Oh, how is your sister doing???


Pug Mama said...

good grief!
That is what you call diarrhea of the mouth.

Kris said...

they keep coming even after referral and placement.

a doctor at work yesterday asked if i was going to adopt from Haiti since it's "so much easier now"...?????... sure, just 4 months home with a now 4 year old. I'll get on that.

sorry the wait has extended to the stars and back and then back to the stars again, that you have to even put up with the questions at all.

Special K said...

I get it. Totally.

Been thinking of you lately. We need to catch up. :)

Alyson & Ford said...

Wow. So sorry! Sometimes we just don't know what to say.
I almost would have just preferred a good cry each time someone asked....... nothing really helps with that ache in your heart. Prayers and hugs to you.

Alyzabeth's Mommy

a Tonggu Momma said...

I would like to say that theses ignorant and insensitive remarks astound me, but - unfortunately - nothing surprises me anymore. I'm still sorry that it happened though.