Thursday, September 11, 2008

Why Adoption? Why China?

I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I had the same dream as most other little girls - I would be married to a hot stud of a husband who made a ton of money and worshipped the ground that I walked on, we would have the most gorgeous, well behaved children that everyone wanted to be friends with and we would live in a mansion at the beach with lots of cars and beautiful clothes. Sounds about right, right? Wrong!

I eventually did get married but not to a hot stud of a man. He was more of a so-so looking control freak who turned out to be a big loser. After 2.5 years of being married to him I decided it was time for me to get my life back so I divorced him. As much as I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby, I'm so glad I never did with him.

So there I was approaching the big 4-0 and I still did not have any children. I still wanted to be a Mom. I longed to be a Mom. I wanted a child to love - and to teach things to - and to hug and kiss - and do all the amazing things that a mother does. I wanted someone to call me mommy. I wanted to do all the things for a child that my mother did, and still does, for me.

I decided to look into my options. The man of my dreams hadn't shown up yet so getting pregnant by him seemed to be out of the question. I looked into artificial insemination. I always thought that I really wanted to be pregnant. I wanted the whole experience. I just wasn't 100% comfortable about all the unknowns with that. I didn't completely rule it out, but I wanted to see what else was out there.

I started to research domestic adoptions. Although it's not always the case, I read many stories of disrupted domestic adoptions where the birth mother came back to reclaim her child. I immediately knew that I could not take that risk. My heart could not handle that.

I knew that my only other option was international adoption. My cousin and his wife have two beautiful girls from China so it seemed like a good idea for me too. Right? Ironically (or not), my church was hosting an adoption seminar that same month. I attended and heard stories from families who had adopted from many different countries. I left the seminar with tons of information and just knew in my heart that this is what I was meant to do.

Over the course of the next several weeks it seemed that everywhere I looked, something having to do with adoption was right in front of me. I met people with adopted children ~ There were articles in my local newspaper about adoption ~ I saw advertisements from different agencies that were having adoption seminars in my local area ~ I came across a TV show called Adoption Stories and cried as I watched with envy as families were created.

I attended several of the seminars and learned about the different agencies and the programs they had to offer. I spent hours and hours on the Internet doing research. I came to the conclusion that if I was ever going to be a mother, this was the option that felt right. I knew in my heart that this was meant to be. At this point, the only person in my family that knew I was considering this was my sister.

I ended up really liking the first agency that I met with. At the seminar I spoke with one of the agency's coordinators named Jennie. She was so nice and answered about a million questions that I had. As a single woman wanting to adopt, my choices were limited. Many countries didn't accept singles. Jennie suggested Vietnam or Guatemala. I left the seminar and once again did a ton of research on-line. After many phone calls and emails with more questions, I told Jennie that I just wasn't sure. Something just didn't feel right about Vietnam or Guatemala.

I knew that the waiting list for singles to adopt from China was LONG and that it would most likely be 1-2 years before I would get a spot but I asked Jennie about it anyway. She told me that she would check with Martha, the China Program coordinator, and get back to me. When Jennie called me back she said "We just had three single spots become available and if you want one you need to call Martha right away!" When I called Martha she wanted an answer right then and there as these spots were hard to come by. I was completely unprepared to make that decision. I went from researching my options to having to make a commitment to adopt. YIKES!

Martha was nice enough to give me until morning to make my decision. I had approximately 15 hours to make a LIFE CHANGING DECISION!!! I spoke with my parents who immediately told me to hang up the phone, call Martha and tell her YES, YES, YES!!! They supported me 100% and still do to this day 2.5 years later. I called Martha and the rest is history. I am finally (someday) going to be someones Mommy :o)


a Tonggu Momma said...

Wow, Suzie!! Thanks so much for sharing your story with us.15 hours to decide... good thing they needed to know so quickly, what with the short wait and all. BwwaaahHaHaHa! (Tomorrow we reach month 27 in what I like to call The Epic Wait.)

Amie@HeartSmiles said...


Came to you through Ni Hao Yall.

I loved hearing your story. I love to see how God opens our hearts to adoption, and how the walk unfolds as we realize where our child is.

What a cool story.

Thanks for sharing and thanks for letting me peek in!


Blessed Single Mom said...

Hi Suzie,

I love your blog. Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to so much. I am also a single parent and have my two beautiful children with me now. One from Guatemala and one from China. Nothing is better than getting a hug and a snuggle in the morning. I hope the rest of your wait goes quickly.