Another LID gone by

41 months down.

2 days worth of referrals.

Enough said.

My New Toy :o)

I finally broke down and got something
I've been wanting for almost a year now....

After spending three hours in the camera store, I finally decided on this Nikon. It's probably way more than I need but I've been wanting a good camera and will hopefully someday know how to use all the features that it has. Good news is that the purchase price includes 18 lessons!!

By the time Maggie comes home I should have it down pat :o)

They just don't get it...

I've been waiting over three years for my someone in China to match me with my daughter. I know that people mean well, but they just don't get it. Some recent conversations...


Friend: What is going on with your adoption? It seems like it is taking forever.
Me: It is taking forever but I have no control over it. I've been waiting for over 40 months.
Friend: That's ridiculous. You should just get pregnant. (That's a great idea, I wish I had thought of that)


Friend: Are you STILL waiting for that baby?
Me: Yes, I am.
Friend: Well, I wish they would hurry up. I'm getting tired of waiting!! (Really???? YOU are tired of waiting!!!)


Friend: I know a lawyer, do you want me to have him call China and see if
they can speed things up for you? (Can you imagine - Hello China? What's taking so long?)

Friend: Any news yet?
Me: Unfortunately, no. I'm still waiting.
Friend: Well there are plenty of babies for sale now in Haiti, maybe you should try there (This was from someone at church and it left me speechless?)

Stupid remarks like this make me glad that not everyone knows I am adopting.

BRRRRRRRR!!!!

I've lived in Florida for 16 years and have

NEVER EVER

seen temperatures this low!

The feels like temperatures at 7am this morning!

Upon seeing this when I woke up this morning,

I am now the proud (and toasty warm) owner of this:

Can't wait to get into bed tonight!

Christmas, A New Year & 40 Months LID

Christmas in CT was fabulous! Other than the horrific drive through a raging blizzard, I made it safely and had a wonderful time. My two brothers and their wives were there from Utah, me from Florida and my sister and brother from CT - my parents could not have been happier (unless of course they had a beautiful Chinese granddaughter there as well)!

We took a ride to the North Pole on the Polar Express

Our crazy family and friends at my sister's annual Christmas Eve-Eve party!

A brand new Christmas morning tradition was started - Bloody Mary's while opening gifts!!

I can't say that I am sad to say goodbye to 2009. I was thinking about how I've said that 2009 didn't start out as a good year and that it certainly didn't end as a good year. But really, when I think back to everything bad that happened, there were a lot of good things that I am very thankful for.

• A good friends wife passed away after being in a mostly vegetative state for over two years. As sad as it was, I am thankful that he was able to return to a normal state of life and is now happily dating someone he's known for quite some time.
  
• My sister Katie had a stroke that caused bleeding on her brain one month before her 37th birthday. I'm thankful that her principal sensed that something was wrong and in no uncertain terms, insisted that she immediately call her doctor.
  
• My brother KC had to have surgery to remove a mass that was growing on his neck. I'm thankful that everything was ok and it turned out to be nothing serious.
  
• My sister was told that she needed to have brain surgery and her insurance company would not pay for the out of state doctor that she was referred to. I'm thankful that they finally agreed to pay for everything!
  
• We all flew to Phoenix to be with Katie while she had brain surgery. I am so very thankful that after six hours of surgery we were told that she did fabulous! Although it was one of the worst times for our family, I am thankful that we all got to be with her either in AZ or back in CT.
  
• Another Mother's Day spent NOT as a mom. But, I am thankful for my own mother and feel so blessed to have such a wonderful relationship with her. She has always been there for me whenever I need her and I hope to someday have that same relationship with my girl Maggie.
  
• My mom, sister, aunts and cousins came for a girls "few weeks" in Florida. Katie was still having problems with her vision and was very uncomfortable wearing an eye patch out in public. I was worried as she seemed very withdrawn and I was afraid that she was getting depressed. On her last night here I was extremely thankful that her vision was COMPLETELY restored and that I got to be with her when it happened!
  
• I had to renew my I600-A for the third time! I'm thankful that even though the CC@@ is moving at a snails pace, at least they are still referring babies!
  
• I am thankful that Katie returned to work seven months and four days after she had her stroke!
  
• My best friends daughter turned two - I am so blessed and so thankful to have her in my life!
  
• The results of my aunts Pet Scan showed that the majority of the cancerous tumors that showed up the year before were virtually gone! I am thankful that she is feeling great and looks even better!!
  
• My best friends husband was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer and had to have most of the skin removed from from one side of his face. I am thankful that it did NOT spread to his lymph nodes and I pray that he will remain strong during chemo and radiation. Cancer Sucks.

I guess it wasn't such a bad year after all.

Here's hoping that 2010 is better!

Once again, I can't believe it's been so long since I posted anything here. It seems like so much has been happening and now that I sit down to think about it I can't remember half of the stuff that has consumed my life since my last post! What I can remember is:

• I had to switch agency's - even though my agency kept advising me that though they were not Hague accredited, my paperwork was fine and I had nothing to worry about. Turned out that was a load of crap. About three weeks before the CC@@ deadline, they sent an email giving me the option to drop out of the China program, switch to another country or change agency's. After 3+ years of waiting, I chose to switch agency's. Now, my fingers are crossed that there won't be any bumps in the road when I ever get a referral.
  
  
• My best friends husband was diagnosed with an aggressive form of skin cancer the day before Thanksgiving. It's really bad. He went in for what he thought was a consult and they ended up removing half of his face! Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, 12/15 to do a lymph node biopsy and a skin graft to close the gaping hole they left. They've been told that surgery will last 10-12 hours and then he will have to do radiation and chemo. Their whole world has been turned upside down. Cancer sucks.
  


• I bumped into an old friend last week who works at my doctors office. I hadn't seen her in three years - since I went to get my physical for my dossier. The first thing out of her mouth was "how is that baby of yours? I want to hear all about her!" Ouch. That hurt. She obviously thought that I had long been home from China and was shocked to hear that I may not be any closer today that I was when I last saw her. I try so hard to not stress and think about how long it's been but I got in my car and cried all the way home.
  
  
• I'm ready for 2009 to be over. It started bad, it's ending bad and there was a whole lot of bad in between. I'm hoping to see some of my blogging buddies get referrals early on in the new year. If that doesn't put a smile on my face then I don't know what will!
  
  
• I'm the last person left in my department at work. I guess I should consider that to be my job security. It's been a really rough year in the construction industry and not too many people are buying luxury homes. I've been given a lot of extra work (along with my pay CUT earlier this year) and I'm hoping that it will pay off in the long run. It could be really good for me. Or I could just be a sucker.
  
  
• The 38th & 39th anniversary of my LID has come and gone. January will be month 40 that my dossier has been collecting dust in a pile at the CCAA. Let's hope 2010 finally brings that speed up we've all been saying is about to happen.

• I can't believe that Christmas is in less than two weeks!!! I'm leaving Saturday to head to CT to spend time with my family and I can't wait. My brothers will be home from Utah and I've made some plans to get together with some old friends I reconnected with on FB. I can't wait to see my family!!

Documentary Screening

This past Saturday my local FCC, and Dr. Tony Tan from the USF College of Education, hosted a screening of a documentary on China adoptions. The documentary was filmed and produced by Dr. Changfu Chang, a Chinese professor and film maker from Pennsylvania. Both professors were born in China and have spent many years studying adoptions on Chinese children.

The documentary is called Long Wait For Home and it really is a must have for all families that adopt from China. It started off by profiling three birth families who told of their reasons for abandoning their child. It was heart wrenching to hear their stories - all three of them very different.

Then, Dr. Chang and his team were able to get footage inside an orphanage. They interviewed several of the nanny's and were able to give us a glimpse as to what life in a Chinese orphanage is really like. It was amazing and at this point I don't think there was a dry eye in the room.

Lastly, they interviewed several demographics of people in China and asked them their views on foreigners coming to China and adopting their children. Some people just had no clue and other's were very appreciative. It was eye opening.

I purchased all six of his DVD's. I feel that any insight that I will be able to give to my daughter will be worth the cost.

Most people that attended were already home with their children. They couldn't believe that I've been waiting for over three years already and still have no idea when I'll get a referral. If one more person told me that they only waited six months I was seriously going to hit them.

After the movie ended there was a Q & A session. Obviously, the first question asked was "are there really fewer babies being abandoned?" Dr. Changs answer was interesting. In short, his answer was NO. He explained it like this:

China has a population of 1.3 billion people

There are an estimated 10 million marriages per year

1/2 of those couples will get pregnant and have a baby

1% of those couples will adandon their child

That equals approximately 50,000 babies per year

So where are they? According to Dr. Chang, they are there. He has seen them. His thoughts are that they have been moved from the orphanages that participate in international adoption to the domestic orphanages in the poorer, smaller towns. This was China's way of "saving face". The fact that the rest of the world was coming to "save their children" because they could not take care of them, did not sit well with the Chinese government. Again, this is his theory. He does not believe that China will shut down the IA program but he does not expect the wait times to decrease.

I'm so glad that I went and was able to learn more about the possible circumstances that my daughter may face before I even meet her. Dr. Chang speaks at many FCC events throughout the year. I highly recommend any adoptive parent or family member to attend if he should come to a location near you. http://lovewithoutboundaries.org/index.html